I Am Accountable to My Own Standards

Over the past two weeks, I’ve experienced especially loud mind chatter about my desire for self-improvement in all areas of my life.  I am an active seeker, and while some days this is one of my better qualities, other days it’s just tiring.  I realized late last week that I’m making myself crazier than necessary by frequently moving my targets, just as I am about to achieve my goals.  (For example, at my highest weight I wanted to fit in size 12 clothes, but just as size 12 became comfortable I wanted to be a size 10).

Fortunately I have outstanding mentors, one of whom suggested to me Friday that I create a list of standards for my life and business.  After some soul-searching, here’s my new list:

  1. No beating myself up.
  2. No “eating to kill” my feelings.
  3. No shutting out my children.
  4. No day without fresh air, silence, and movement.
  5. No judging myself on my number of action items open.
  6. No decisions based on shoulds or fear of lack.
  7. No second-guessing my choices.
  8. No work that’s not easy, lucrative and fun.
  9. No squelching my inner “fun mama with the money.”

So these are my new success metrics.  If I want help making a quick decision, or if I’d like to evaluate my performance fairly (as a self-employed person, I frequently notice my boss is very harsh!), I’ll use these.  I’ve also asked a handful of my close colleagues and friends to hold me accountable to these standards.  And now, because I’m continuing to practice honesty, openness, and willingness, I’d like to ask you, as a member of my community, to support me by holding me accountable. If you see me, hear me, sense me not living up to these, please point it out to me in a direct but gentle way!

What are your standards, for yourself and your business?  (connect2 hint:  for entrepreneurs, they should be the same!)


  1. Debra Woog

    Margelit, considering your kids are so young, that sounds like a hard combination!

  2. Stef

    I so get this part. This happens to me more often than I would like to admit. I am on a roll with the work and the fresh air/training/eating good food part goes out the window.

  3. Dawn Copeland

    Hmmm…I say 1, 2, 4 and 8 need to go on my list NOW. Thanks for reminding me that work and life should be fun, if not always "easy!" My standards don't always line up with my actions.

    My heart and desire seems to want to work more than my body. It's like my spirit takes over and is having so much fun that I can forget to take a walk or go to bed early enough. The upside is I love when I do my work and it teaches me everyday how I need to take better care of myself.

    I am inspired by the grace and love that you are setting up here for yourself and I will gladly hold you accountable.

  4. Debra Woog

    Thank you in advance for holding me accountable! I must admit this doesn't work perfectly. Today, for example, I was so caught up in writing and creating that I never made it outside for fresh air for more than a few minutes at a time. There's always tomorrow, though!

  5. Margelit Hoffman

    Wow–good stuff. It's very brave to ask others to hold you accountable. The latest new standard I'm working on keeping is being in bed by midnight, and waking up before my children do. One thing at a time for me!

  6. Debra Woog

    Can you say more about what willingness means for you?

  7. Debra Woog

    Thanks very much for the support!

  8. Sheila

    Thanks for sharing Debra. I can relate to 2, 4, 5, 6, 8. I recently set standards to support me with how I engage with my business. Now there's awareness when I do things that sabotage my day. Count me in with gently holding you accountable. 🙂

  9. Paula G

    Love them Debra. As I often say to myself — If I'm self- employed and working for an jerk then… I only have to look in the mirror and change something about it (as you can see I come from that harsh voice natural inclination myself). Hurray for you for posting your standards. I have 1, 4, 6, 7 , 8 on my list as well… and work I do has to have an element of fun in it. I would also add that I do check my willingness at every step. Not sure if that is a standard or simply a way of viewing what I am encountering.