My friend and coach Geoff Laughton (who now runs a nonprofit around men’s groups and men’s coaching called The Evolving Man) recently introduced me to a book called The Code of the Extraordinary Mind, by Vishen Lakhiani. Lakhiani talks about something called Brules – bullsh*t rules we each have in our brains that were handed down by the culture and family systems we grew up in. (Usually I refer to these as shadow beliefs. Like everyone, we women professionals all have them, and we’re often unaware of them.)
So when I mentioned to Geoff that I was having some money fears lately he asked me to name my current money story. I said the first thing that came to my mind: “The fact that I haven’t been earning as much as I used to shows I’m no longer willing to work hard.”
He immediately responded, “There’s a Brule inside that. What is it?”
Without much more thought I replied, “Earning big money equals sacrificing health and relationships.”
Hmmmmmm. That’s a real big shadow belief in my head. No doubt it’s getting in my way.
Before I can let it go, I need proof that this potential Brule is actually untrue. Of course I’d much prefer to believe that I, along with all women professionals, can earn six figures as a healthy woman and present mom. The truth is that while I have experienced each of these components in my career, I don’t recall experiencing all three of them all at once.
I can easily think of many high-earning men and women in the United States who have worked so hard that they have sacrificed their health and/or relationships. Who are my counterexamples? I can think of too few women. I know countless women professionals aspiring to become this, countless women professionals qualified to become this, countless women professionals deserving to become this. But which U.S. women out there personally earn $100,000+ from their careers who consider themselves to be healthy, as well as present moms of school-aged kids or younger at home? ” Please help me identify and talk to them so we can learn from them, get inspired by them, and share the lessons!”
[bctt tweet=”Please help me find healthy, present moms who earn $100k+ to be work-life role models.” username=”@connecttwo”]
Here’s my vision: I want to create and host a Sister-to-Sister Summit – an online (and maybe even in-person) gathering of U.S. women who meet these criteria. I want to interview them! How do they do it? What are their tips and tricks? What are their struggles? What do they need? How can I help? How can they help each other? I do not intend to sell anything to them. I only want to learn and draw inspiration from them.
Now to clarify, I’m not looking here for the Sheryl Sandbergs of the world, women who are such extremely high earners that they can afford full-time staff supporting them at home. I happened to pick up a Good Housekeeping magazine recently and was delighted to find an interview with Shonda Rhimes where she confidently admits how much help she has at home. I applaud her for saying so! That’s her reality and she’s leveraging it beautifully. But right now I’m not looking for the Sheryls and the Shondas.
I’m also not looking for women whose businesses gross $100,000+ but expenses are so high that they personally aren’t taking home big bucks. Nor am I looking for women whose families do not rely on their income, as the professional pressures on these women may feel quite different.
I’m deeply curious about women in the United States who are able to be high-earners and simultaneously take good care of themselves and their children. Are you such a woman? And/or can you introduce me to such role models?
For us to meet virtually, please schedule a “Collaboration Connection”. To facilitate an introduction, please contact me via email or Facebook.
Would you like to meet and learn from such women? Do you wonder if they even exist? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!
I am so ready to expand my awareness of role models who disprove my shadow belief. In return, I promise to share my inspiration and lessons learned with all of you!